


ice cubes

by sunflowerspraypaint



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Child Sexual Abuse, Diego Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Fluff, GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, NO FUCKING INCEST!!!!, No Incest, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Love, So much angst, THE SIBLINGS DO NOT SEXUALLY ABUSE EACH OTHER!!, ahsdjwkesdh, bc i highkey kin w him, i can't believe i even have to say this oh my god, i might continue this but idk, i'm fucking tired lmfaooo, i'm putting this tag on every single tua fanfic i write and u cannot stop me, luther isn't a douche for once, me literally projecting all of my trauma onto diego, oopsies ig, the ending is shitty and it's 4am, this is so fucking projecty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-17 23:19:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18108557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowerspraypaint/pseuds/sunflowerspraypaint
Summary: verryyyyy projecty and a big tw for graphic depictions of childhood sexual abuse!!Diego would do anything for the safety and guaranteed wellbeing of his siblings. Even Luther.He didn't expect his selfless mentality to challenge him with the two worst things he's ever faced.Face an emotional trauma worse than anything you've ever faced, or have your siblings suffer the same fate.





	ice cubes

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if this sounds weird or choppy!! i literally wrote this at 4 am skjksjd again!! warning!!!

Diego nearly jumped when the alarm suddenly sounded. He had been in the middle of listening to Vanya playing her violin, sitting next to Klaus who was humming along terribly, but looked happy enough, so Diego didn’t dare to bother him about it. Plus, he had thought it was kinda funny. But all happiness was soon ripped from his body when he heard that godforsaken alarm, and he saw Vanya’s shoulders droop, knowing she wasn’t coming with them, and that their father was most likely going to berate her about being born normal, about how utterly useless she was to him. She set down her violin and sighed. Diego hugged his frail little sister, promising he’d be back soon, and Klaus did the same. Diego then ran into his room, getting into his gear and grabbing all six of his knives. He had some time to spare, so he practiced speaking in front of his mirror, welling up with pride when his mother congratulated him for forming his sentences so perfectly. He hugged her and she gave him a kiss on his forehead before he left with his other siblings, gut twisting.

Diego always worried about the missions. He worried that one of his siblings would die, or get hurt, and he wouldn’t be able to help or do anything to prevent it. Unfortunately, this left him with very little care for himself during these missions, and he often worked sloppily, only thinking of his siblings’ safety instead of his own. He was selfless, and caring, and would do anything to help his siblings. He was the second oldest, after all.

Diego was kind of relieved to know it was just another bank robbery, and his siblings kind of spread out as they entered the bank, which seemed more akin to a fucking labyrinth on the inside. Confusing hallways, dim lights, he knew the criminals could be around any corner, waiting for him to round it so that they could jump him. He listened carefully, though, in case he heard the faint scream of one of his siblings so that he could go and help them. 

Diego, unfortunately, was not expecting a large hand to quickly clamp over his mouth, grabbing his hands and pinning them behind his back. He’d been listening for the wrong thing, apparently. His gut twisted in fear. He couldn’t use his knives. Couldn’t scream for help. Couldn’t do anything. He was trapped, held back by a disgusting oaf. Still, he attempted a scream, and the man only chuckled.

“They can’t hear you, freak,” he grumbled, getting close to Diego’s ear. His breath smelled like whiskey, cigarettes, and shit, and it made Diego want to spill his guts onto the floor. He wished he could teleport away like Five, he wished he could rumor him when he had the chance like Allison, or defend himself with his raw strength like Luther. But his only power wasn’t accessible, because the knives he stored in his gauntlets had the hands of a criminal wrapped around them, and he soon realized how utterly powerless he felt. His body kind of went limp, and he only heard a satisfied chuckle from behind him. “That’s it, sweetheart,” the man growled. He forced Diego around a corner and into a nearby office, slamming the door. Diego couldn’t breathe. Once the man took his hand off his mouth he just started screaming for help, praying that anyone would hear, but the hand was soon covering his mouth once more, and now a gun was held to his head. “If you don’t do exactly what I fucking say, I’ll blow your goddamn brains out. Got it?” the man snapped, eyes full of murderous intent. Diego didn’t want to cry in front of this man. He didn’t want to show him he was weak. But his heart was twisting and wrenching in fear, and he wondered if he’d ever be able to hear Vanya’s violin ever again, wondering if he’d leave this place alive, leaving broken hearts and promises behind. Diego let his head droop, and the man let out a satisfied chuckle. “Good,” the man grumbled, taking his hand away from Diego’s mouth. Diego felt the man’s free hand fall into his hair, and trace his fucking jawline, tilting his chin up. Diego was horrified to find how close this man’s face had come to his and finally began to cry, trying to keep his sobs quiet to avoid being shot and killed by the despicable oaf. The man kissed Diego on his lips, and he tried to pull away, crying harder, begging for one of his siblings to fucking help him already, but he was alone. He trailed his disgusting, wet mouth down Diego’s neck and began to undo Diego’s clothes, still somehow holding the gun to his head, only pressing it harder against his skin, like a warning. Diego didn’t beg for him to stop, because he knew the sick piece of shit would probably like that. Suddenly, the man took out his–his thing, and Diego threw up in his mouth. “Rub it,” the man growled. Diego shook his head, big brown eyes pleading to the cruel god above to stop this already, please, because he was honestly better off being shot than doing this right now. The man repeated himself, only a bit louder and angrier, but this time threatened that if he killed Diego, he swore to find one of his other siblings and do the same thing. This scared the absolute shit out of Diego. He’d never be able to live with himself if he knew he was the cause of one of his siblings having to endure this pure fucking torture. As much as he disliked Luther, he knew NO ONE deserved this, ever, not even his dick of an older brother, and he’d rather take this punishment than have Luther suffer through it. Reluctantly, Diego reached out a tiny, shaky hand toward’s the man’s, y’know, area, and touched it, nearly throwing up everywhere. 

‘Do it for them, do it for them, do it for them,” his mind chanted, over and over again, and honestly? It was the only thing that kept him from begging the man to shoot him because death couldn’t be worse than this. 

Diego tried to stare out at the tiny window in the gloomy office at the leaves on the trees, just to distract himself from this, just to get it over with so he could leave alive and see his siblings again, and not having them crying over his grave. He just looked at the leaves, tears still flowing down his little cheeks, not understanding how much emotional impact this would have on him over the years. Some weird white stuff came out of the wretched man’s thingy, and Diego quickly ripped his hand back, disgusted. The man just cackled, and Diego only cried harder.

“P-P-Please,” he hadn’t spoken up in a bit. “J-just l-l-l-let m-me g-g-go!” he begged, sobbing. The man looked unphased by this, maybe even a bit angrier.

“You leave when I say you can leave, brat,” he snarled, laughing when sobs wracked Diego’s little 11-year-old body even harder. “Now,” the man said, voice only filled with bad intentions, “kiss it.”

Diego’s throat burned and he resisted the urge to scream at the top of his lungs. ‘No way no way no way no way–”  
“You heard me, bitch,” he snapped. Diego shook his head, hard, even though he knew he had to fucking do this. The only thing keeping him going was knowing that he’d have to suffer through this, and thankfully, not his siblings. “Kiss. It.”

Those were the last words that left the man’s mouth before Five quickly teleported behind him and shot him, not giving him enough time to pull the trigger on Diego, as he was soon dead. Diego just fell to the floor fucking sobbing. He couldn’t handle this. 

“What the fuck is going on?!” Five screeched, his voice full of wild anger. Diego couldn’t stop crying, still, after all that had happened. He could hear another pair of footsteps enter the room, and looked up, eyes puffy and red from crying. It was Klaus. His little brother had to see him like this, see him this...weak. Diego’s eyes darted over to Five, who was pacing, hands ripping at his hair, looking like he was going to literally explode from unbridled rage. Klaus looked at the man who had had his you-know-what out, and then back at the half-naked Diego, and a hand went up to his mouth as his eyes widened. 

“D-Dee…” he mumbled, before collapsing onto the floor across from Diego, enveloping him in a tight hug. Diego could feel Klaus’ body shaking, and prayed he wasn’t crying, but knew it to be true when Klaus pulled back and his eyes were glossy and teary, his cheeks damp from tears. “I’m going to rip him back from the afterlife just so that I can fucking murder him in the worst way possible, and then bring him back again so I can do it all over again,” Klaus spat, a dangerous glint in his eye. It kind of made Diego feel a lot better knowing his siblings really, truly cared this much. Five was still pacing, his breathing turning into loud, angry huffing.

“F-F-Fi–” Diego struggled to get his name out. He was so shaken, his stuttering was at its worst. “F-Five?” he finally managed to say his name, and his brother turned to him, eyes teary and fists clenching his hair like it was the only thing keeping him sane right now. Five’s shoulders slumped when he saw Diego, and he rushed over to his brother to give him a quick hug, which stunned Diego because Five hated affection. 

“I’m almost tempted to go back in time just so that I can give him a worse death than he experienced. He doesn’t deserve the oxygen he breathed for all those measly years he lived, I wish I could have poured hydrofluoric acid down his throat and cut off his dick and choked him with it,” he snarled, giving a violent kick to the body. “Scum of the Earth!” Five shrieked, kicking the body again, and again, and again, until he’d burned a good amount of the anger out of him and decided that kicking a corpse wasn’t accomplishing anything at all. Klaus held Diego’s hand all the while as the two brothers sat on the floor, in an attempt to comfort his brother. Diego just smiled a little bit, knowing that Klaus was really trying, and this was a lot for a pack of 11-year-olds to even attempt at handling. Allison, Ben, and Luther had followed the sounds of Five’s enraged screaming to the room the three were in, and they all had similar reactions. Allison said she wished she could have rumored him into ripping all of his hair and nails out, and then eating them, and then rumoring him to drown himself in bleach. Luther stomped on the man’s chest, leaving a large indent, and muttered to himself in fury, checking on Diego every few moments to make sure he was okay. Ben cried just like Klaus had, and it really hurt to see Ben cry, because he was the second youngest of the bunch, and just as small and sweet as Vanya. He hugged Diego and didn’t stop until the six decided to finally leave the room, Diego spitting on the corpse and throwing a knife into its eye before leaving, not very satisfied but satisfied enough. The siblings said nothing about it to their father, knowing he’d only speak ill of Diego and only make him feel shittier. Diego was surprised that Luther hadn’t even told dad, but thankfully this was serious enough to keep his snitchy little mouth shut. When they got home, the six went into Vanya’s room, who looked at them in shock, wondering what the hell was going on. Diego decided to tell her what had happened, as much as he didn’t want to, and his other siblings hearing the full story made them visibly sick, angry, heartbroken, a whirlwind of negative emotions of all kinds except for disappointment in Diego, except for calling him weak for not defending himself, except for telling him he should have done something. No. They were all extremely supportive of Diego, and comforted him when he just couldn’t stop crying about it, not scolding him for being a baby, but hugging him and telling him how proud they were for how strong he’d been, and that Klaus was more than sure that the man went straight to hell, Tartarus, whatever the fuck was down below when he died, because he couldn’t see him anywhere. That kind of made Diego feel better, and he smiled at his younger brother, thanking him for being there for him and comforting him. 

That night, all seven of the siblings packed into Diego’s room. Allison brought her brand new DVD player that mom had just gotten for her and put on The Fox and the Hound, one of her favorite Disney movies. Diego was surrounded by his siblings, some of the people he cared most about on this planet, and he was feeling much, much better after today’s events. Though occasionally, he’d start hyperventilating or crying because of the vivid flashbacks of the assault, his hands shaking and his eyes wrenching shut, and his siblings would all comfort him again, Allison kissing him on the forehead and telling him that he was safe now, Vanya gripping at his hand as if she were holding onto it for dear life, Klaus with an arm slung protectively around his brother, Luther gently rubbing his back in an effort to comfort him, Five with a hand on his forearm, gently squeezing it and trying to ground him, and Ben sprinting into the kitchen to get ice cubes and shoving them into Diego’s mouth, and telling him that these would definitely help. Diego was kind of confused at first but realized that the cold in his mouth was keeping him grounded in reality and that the flashbacks stopped because he knew, he was here with his family, and not back there with that wretched man. He knew he was dead, all because of a silly ice cube in his mouth. He thanked Ben and hugged him, and Ben just smiled. Diego kind of wondered how he knew that but decided not to press on the matter. He fell asleep after some time, head falling onto Vanya’s shoulder and a quiet snore escaping his mouth. His siblings didn’t leave, and they were grateful that their mother had woken them up instead of their father, because Allison rumored her so that she would tell Reginald that the children had all come down with a terrible illness and could barely move, and thankfully, dear old dad didn’t give enough shits to check on them. They all were smiling, and put on some more movies, mostly Disney and Pixar ones because those were the most entertaining to them right now. They all checked up on Diego every so often and refused to leave his side for a few days. 

Diego didn’t realize the severity of the trauma he’d gone through until later in his life.

He didn’t realize the severity until he was gasping for air, tears falling down his cheeks and the memories played vividly in his brain, remembering every second of it, grabbing at his hair, crying, begging for help. Thankfully, Klaus had been walking by his room at that moment because he intended to grab a snack from the kitchen, but decided to check on Diego instead when he heard sobbing coming from his room. Diego was curled up on his bed, his body wracked with sobs, and Klaus was frozen for a moment. He ran to his brother, shook him, hugged him, anything to snap him out of this state. He hated seeing him like this, so vulnerable, so heartbroken, so traumatized and unable to heal very much from not being able to talk to anyone but his siblings about it (and they certainly weren’t trained professionals). Klaus promised he’d be back in two seconds before he ran into the kitchen, grabbed a cup full of ice cubes, and ran back to Diego’s room. He gave an ice cube to Diego who put it in his mouth and sighed. Klaus had taught him other tricks to stay grounded. Ice cubes, obviously, but also mints, tensing up every muscle in his body for ten seconds and then releasing it, the “5-4-3-2-1” technique, and some other handy stuff. Klaus used it too when he was having a panic attack, so he was glad he could finally put this information to good use.

“Th-th-thanks, K-Klaus,” Diego mumbled, swishing the ice cube around in his mouth. He tried steadying his breathing more, arms behind his head and head tilted back to get as much air in as possible. 

“No problem, bro,” Klaus said, smiling sadly down at Diego. He hugged him one more time before asking Diego if he needed anything else, to which he answered no, but thank you, and Klaus reluctantly left. Diego let out a shaky sigh, popping another ice cube into his mouth. This method seemed to work the best for him so far, and its use hadn’t faded over the two years he’d been using it. He was 13 now, and still struggling with the trauma and the frequent panic attacks. He loved the cold more and more because it grounded him, and sometimes, he’d just flop into the snow when he felt like utter shit. His siblings knew why, so they played with him too, trying to cheer him up, throwing snowballs around and laughing.

But Diego would never, ever be able to forget.

And that’s what hurt the most.


End file.
